Growing Pains

Perfect, I’m not, take the will from me Lord to cast a single stone
If it never hurts then how can I profess to have grown

Unsee

Lord take the memory from my minds eye lest it should be
Because I’ve told myself what I saw I can’t unsee

Lesser Pain

Sometimes I wonder what it is you see

Because you’re not all that different from me

 

My eyes open too, I look upon this world

But I cannot say I know this direction hurled

 

A light I used to see, and could only share

Now only blinks from a place near despair

 

Love. There’s plenty here, even more

But your hands won’t rap on this door

 

Life’s too short, is what they all say

Too long, when you question each day

 

Looking inward I wonder yet again

If it’s yours or mine, the lesser pain

 

Sleep, or don’t, the answer’s not consumed

You know that, I need not presume

 

Maybe a day’s hard work would do

Look in the mirror, is it within you?

 

Care, I do, believe always and forever

Choices pull and push, there’s no never

 

I know enough to know that I’ve lost

The answers I mull carry such cost

 

It’s neither a game nor a contest

Yet time runs out, wish the best

 

Doors left open, yet left behind

Not yet closed they’re just hard to find

 

I don’t know what you desire

Do you know to what you aspire?

 

Not necessary now, progress at least

Push yourself from your will’s increase

 

We’re not all the same, that’s the thing

So many words carry a not needed sting

 

Focus, to your heart what does joy bring?

Helping another? The freedom to sing?

 

It’s not all bad, only the frame we spin

Break it down, and let yourself in

 

This hole in my heart, belongs to you

But I can’t make one do what they won’t do

 

The ball’s in a court that I cannot access

So, I ponder and pray, but will not regress

 

Run forward, and leave for always, this rut

You know the way better than you thought

 

I love you my dear, you’re with me still

You, and yourself, should address your will

 

Enough said, perhaps too many thoughts

There’s a place though, always, your spot

 

So, after sitting down and spilling these thoughts all over the pages on which I wrote, of course, I thought some more. I read this back to myself while I thought, and I decided that I am entirely unsure with the quality of this piece. On the other hand, I am certain that these thoughts rushed away like a torrent from the space closing between my heart and my brain. Then, for some reason, I thought of an old song that I probably shouldn’t even know. Somehow these words fit too; To me anyways.

I'm looking for a girl who has no face
She has no name, or number
And so I search within his lonely place
Knowing that I won't find her
Well, I can't stop this feeling deep in inside me
Ruling my mind

I feel no sound
Don't know where I'm bound 
The scenery is all the same to me
Nothing has changed or faded
I'm a part of it, some part of me
Painted cool green, and shaded
So, try to find myself must be the only way
To feel free

~ Steve Winwood, Jim Capaldi

 

 

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