Tag Archives: Dreams

Pleasures in Life

I am a fortunate man. God has blessed my family and I many times over. I am both humbled and thankful for all of the blessings that have come my way. One pleasure in life that I am very thankful for, one that I try not to not to take for granted, is the beauty of my sleeping children. No matter how busy the day has been, or how hectic, and even disastrous it may seem, there’s always the moment that seems miles from any of the chaos.

The moment, in the dark, when I walk into the warm room(s) where the children I have been blessed with, to guide and to raise, are peacefully sleeping. The pace of life knows not this moment and this space. No anger, ill-tempered, or negative emotion cross the threshold into this area. Time slows to an appropriate speed when I walk among the shadows to seek a glance at those precious, innocent faces. The noise of life and the roar above the growing hum of humanity clattering through our universe while being distracted by instant everything, can be overheard here by the faintest of whispers. Here inside these walls, the absence of light creates an atmosphere that is placid, quiet, and it takes on a different feel than it does at any time during the day. Reverence washes over me immediately as I step from one world into another, a world separated by just a door and these four walls. Outside this space distractions abide, and stresses tug, decisions are real, and too many of them are required. But, here, in the dark silence, there is innocence, beauty, and peace. There is love here, lots of it. There is respect. There is peace. There is life that originated from a miracle, and here it sleeps, just inches from the madness of today, but here it rests, completely.

My heart rate slows and my mind seems to clear up. I look at the preciousness before me, and it is overwhelming. Sometimes I fight back tears when I let myself think of ever missing one of these moments. Mostly, I smile. I whisper to the sleeping beauties. I have done this with all of the children, even as they got older. I tell them I love them, and how beautiful I think they are. I tell them to dream big, and go after the things in life they love. I tell them to always love, and to always give thanks to the Lord. I tell them they can do anything that their hearts desire, and to work bigger and harder than their biggest dreams. I tell the boys to take care of their sisters and to always look after their mother. I tell the girls to always help their mom, and to make sure they look after their brothers. I pray for them. I pray for direction to be a better father, to be a better husband, and to be a better example. I give them each a kiss and I linger a moment, somehow wishing I could return to that time in my life.

As I open the door to leave and to re-enter the world outside, I think of how truly fortunate I am to witness these pleasures in life.

Once in a lifetime

Sometimes a moment or even an opportunity comes along that almost seems too good to be true. And sometimes, it is true. And then still other times, it’s true, and better than good. Thank God that reality doesn’t get hemmed in by the parameters of my small mind.

Not too long ago, I had a once in a lifetime moment that lasted nearly one full week. All I can say is that I’m thankful for those I shared it with. I’m thankful that God gave me the wherewithal to sit quietly (some of the time) and enjoy each minute for all it meant to those around me, and even then I probably missed too much. I’m eternally grateful for my brother’s generosity as I could never repay the cost of bringing the moment to reality for so many of us. So much further than that, I could not begin to put a price on the memories shared daily with me. Nor could I replace with anywhere near the value, that which I still hear two months later, in commentary oozing with excitement and pure joy almost every day.

No matter how, no matter where, no matter when, no matter who, no matter what, that once in a lifetime moment will always stand alone. I hope I never forget it. Those of us fortunate enough to be there and experience it together will never let us forget it. I know I’ve said thank you, sincerely, many times over, but somehow it still feels like that is not enough. So, this humble attempt to put into words, my thanks, and the depth of experience our once in a lifetime moment together means to me, might fall short too. It’s been on my mind since before we ever gathered for the moment we all shared together and I imagine it will stay with me for quite some time.

Again, I say thank you. There will be moments described as “once in a lifetime” in the future and they’ll be accurately described. But this one will always be it’s own. It’ll grow in time, and lore will only reinforce the true joy we experienced once in a lifetime, together.

And I write…

Sometimes I just want to sit and cry. Sometimes I do. Usually when the feeling strikes me like it has today, I sit and I write. Often, there is not a single, definitive thing I want to write about, but I usually uncover something, almost every time. I just write, and listen to music. Usually the music is mellow or at least passionate if not bluesy. And I write with the sad, bluesy, mellow, if not passionate, flow; dragging the truth from the places where it hides inside. The tears flow with the slightest tie to the emotional drag of the moment. And I write…

There’s just a lonely man sitting at his desk.
He shares in all his honesty, but saves his best.
 
He feels better at times, but still he lacks.
He hasn’t done the things he wishes, just reacts.
 
There’s a world out there, he wishes to see.
But here, alone in moments, he may always be.
 
Night falls, with the evening sky his escape.
Where would he go if it wasn’t too late?
 
Dreams take him to the quiet spaces he loves.
Then reality hits and he can’t, just because.
 
Life is lived in the way it has to go.
He could do so much more if he only did so.
 
Tears fill his eyes remembering err’s he’s made.
And he sits paralyzed, at times still afraid.
 
A small space he runs to now just to write.
It’s always better here, at least for tonight.