It’s been a year now, 12 whole months since a life here expired. I remember the weeks leading to the day that we all knew would come sometime. There was so much support, many prayers and efforts, regardless of being tired. Amid the details though, it wasn’t too difficult, a beautiful love, to find.
So, what then, of ourselves can we say for the limitations we cling to while another among us leaves, and meets the grave? Time is not promised to any of us, if anything, its’ widely abused. But that one who leaves us, the one who would have given all they felt they could give, for us, to save. Did we let them go while holding something back, for what; our ego or feelings bruised?
What do we hold on to throughout our lives, that at birth we didn’t already possess? I will tell you, we cling to the ways we learned in the minutes that define our lives. Think how much we learned, who to be, what to be, how to be, always being defined, if not put to test. Then a life dear to us ends in our time, and we hide, in our pride, in disguise?
We walked a path that started in the same place, with one that brought us to this world. Only to reach their exit from this life with not a word to say or a feeling to share? Would you rather have chosen another, a parent you would have preferred? Does not the apple fall every time, near the tree, this fruit to bear?
I sit with my jaw clenched tightly shut, and the Lord alone knows just how much I stew. I think of the man and wonder if his start as a Dad was any different from the start I came to know. And I ponder, as a parent or not, just as a child, exactly how did you also do? But I find a smile when I think of my Dad, his love so present in the way he looked at us all, and I thank God for every moment, and all these chances to grow.