Lesser Pain

Sometimes I wonder what it is you see
Because you’re not all that different from me
 
My eyes open too, I look upon this world
But I cannot say I know this direction hurled
 
A light I used to see, and could only share
Now only blinks from a place near despair
 
Love. There’s plenty here, even more
But your hands won’t rap on this door
 
Life’s too short, is what they all say
Too long, when you question each day
 
Looking inward I wonder yet again
If it’s yours or mine, the lesser pain
 
Sleep, or don’t, the answer’s not consumed
You know that, I need not presume
 
Maybe a day’s hard work would do
Look in the mirror, is it within you?
 
Care, I do, believe always and forever
Choices pull and push, there’s no never
 
I know enough to know that I’ve lost
The answers I mull carry such cost
 
It’s neither a game nor a contest
Yet time runs out, wish the best
 
Doors left open, yet left behind
Not yet closed they’re just hard to find
 
I don’t know what you desire
Do you know to what you aspire?
 
Not necessary now, progress at least
Push yourself from your will’s increase
 
We’re not all the same, that’s the thing
So many words carry a not needed sting
 
Focus, to your heart what does joy bring?
Helping another? The freedom to sing?
 
It’s not all bad, only the frame we spin
Break it down, and let yourself in
 
This hole in my heart, belongs to you
But I can’t make one do what they won’t do
 
The ball’s in a court that I cannot access
So, I ponder and pray, but will not regress
 
Run forward, and leave for always, this rut
You know the way better than you thought
 
I love you my dear, you’re with me still
You, and yourself, should address your will
 
Enough said, perhaps too many thoughts
There’s a place though, always, your spot
 

So, after sitting down and spilling these thoughts all over the pages on which I wrote, of course, I thought some more. I read this back to myself while I thought, and I decided that I am entirely unsure with the quality of this piece. On the other hand, I am certain that these thoughts rushed away like a torrent from the space closing between my heart and my brain. Then, for some reason, I thought of an old song that I probably shouldn’t even know. Somehow these words fit too; To me anyways.

I'm looking for a girl who has no face
She has no name, or number
And so I search within his lonely place
Knowing that I won't find her
Well, I can't stop this feeling deep in inside me
Ruling my mind

I feel no sound
Don't know where I'm bound 
The scenery is all the same to me
Nothing has changed or faded
I'm a part of it, some part of me
Painted cool green, and shaded
So, try to find myself must be the only way
To feel free

~ Steve Winwood, Jim Capaldi

 

 

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