Sometimes I think that us parents (I know I am guilty at times too) try to control too much. When someone else delivers a positive message to our kids that is received, perhaps more so than if we had delivered it, it is good. Some parents don’t deal well with this scenario, or at least a hint, or maybe more, of jealousy or even failure creeps into our minds when something good comes from a source other than us as parents. It’s almost inevitable that the day will come when our child would rather hear the same words, the same sentiment, the same lessons, even the same tones, from anyone other than their own parent. It happens. If it hasn’t, it will. So don’t feel victimized. Don’t feel like any type of failure. Don’t be jealous or feel in any way undermined. Especially if these things are a positive tone, lesson, or direction. Get out of the way and support a good thing.
Parenting is many things and one of those things is supporting. Like the corporate leaders who succeed more so than their competitors as a result of being able to duplicate their determination and vision by surrounding themselves with like minded, driven, good people; We too, as parents, can spread ourselves across more areas effectively, without being spread too thin, or losing the quality of example.
We tell our children to surround themselves with good people. We even have quite a bit of say in who those people are in many instances. So when we have surrounded ourselves with good people, who in a moment here and there can be an extension of ourselves in life’s teaching moments for our children, why should we get in the way? I realize there are extremes to every normalcy. I’m talking about the good people, saying the right thing, at the right time, for the right reasons, as if we were there making the statements ourselves. This should not include any, “Woe is me” thinking. This is a good thing. So either get out of the way, or learn to be supportive immediately.
Cutting some slack and allowing some freedom doesn’t alway mean one will run only to places they shouldn’t be. In some cases one may run to a place of good influence. In which case we can reward the good decision with support in lieu of our own misplaced feelings or emotions. This doesn’t mean throwing caution to the wind and taking our eye off the ball. It’s more about awareness through allowance and support of something good outside of ourselves. Which, if you think about it, shows well on us anyway.
This was just a thought running through the emptiness between my ears so I thought I’d try to channel it towards something legible. Thanks for reading through this with me.